If that remains true in 2019, let us be true: Jesus would not walk in Yeezys (I’d bet that not even the Top can really time that drop), but he might skip the sandals to decide on something a little more on brand. So please, meet the”Jesus Shoes,” a pair of Water-filled, Frankincense-scented Nike shoes Air Max 97’s and undeniably the most fortunate thing to hit my inbox annually.
Generally, it is only lazy to copy and then paste a press release and call it a blog, but it would be remiss for me not to discuss this masterpiece of Sistine Chapel-proportions. Before ye of little faith scoff and claim that”Michelangelo spent four years painting it,” please, just read on:
The Vatican has crazy style in the event that you truly look at itdope engravings, crazy hats, everything blinged out with golden so we wanted these shoes to allude to that.
The bottoms are full of Holy Water (the water was initially sourced by the river Jordan, and then blessed).
The habit reddish insoles reference the conventional red shoes the Pope wears, and the insoles are scented with Frankincense, among the presents brought by the 3 wise men who traveled to greet Jesus after his birth.
Nike The seal on the box is altered from the official Papal Seal, and the angel on the box is excerpted from Albrecht Durer’s 1514 engraving Melencolia I.
The Vatican being described as having”mad style,” that the Holy Water filling from the river Jordan, the Frankincense-infused insoles, the embedded gold crucifix… I am down to get on my knees and praise the absolute absurdity of everything. And while, sure, maybe all of this can be extremely blasphemous and anybody seeking to get a hold of a pair of these may want to get themselves to confession rather, we must acknowledge the next-level Catholic-inspired creativity here.
After Jude Law turned miniature Speedos papal on The Young Pope, and Andrew Scott made numerous men and women horny for Hot Priest on Fleabag, and the Hot Priest Summer meme took TikTok by storm, possibly this is the only logical conclusion. Alas, the shoes–that were released on Tuesday–have already sold out, with a retail cost of $1,425. While they seem to be available for bidding using a beginning cost of $3,000, most die-hard Jesus fans might inform you that money’s better spent at the tithe bucket rather.